Why do we rely on others for happiness?

Topic of discussion today: happiness.

Oooh this might be one of my favorite things to talk about. I LOVEEEE talking about how to grow and experience life in different ways. Happiness stems from those two things. One of my New Years resolutions was to create my own happiness. Let me tell you why:

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My wonderful mamma.

Humans are emotional beings. From the day we are born, we rely on our parents to take care of us. Parents remedy all of our emotions, just trying to get us through each day. They give us the world (hopefully) and then, before we know it, 13 turns to 30 and we have to deal with all of this stuff. Luckily for me, I’m only 20, so that stuff is pretty minuscule. None the less, emotions are a part of life.

So, we go through life depending on other people. We expect our teachers to make us smart, our coaches to make us fast, our friends to create fun memories, and our parents to teach us right from wrong. When you think about it… life is a whole lot of dependence on other people, because who really knows what the heck we are supposed to be doing half the time anyways.

As we get older, our responsibilities grow and we humans start to take matters into our own hands. We read books on our own to learn new things, coaches disappear and we have to workout by ourselves, our friends start to grow up and make memories with other people. For most, the older you get the more independent you get. But where is the change in our emotions, our happiness? If we are starting to do all of these other things on our own, shouldn’t we learn a new way to manage our emotions?

This is where emotional self-reliance comes into play. Doesn’t it just sound.. idk.. PERFECT! The first step to taking happiness into your own hands is realizing that it is your own job to fulfill your needs. People are unreliable. Its the worst to admit, but so so true. Even the most reliable person you know isn’t always 100% reliable, right? The only person you can depend on when it comes to your emotions and YOUR HAPPINESS is YOU YOU YOU!

51OnErKGDtL._SX315_BO1,204,203,200_Not sure about y’all, but I find this so liberating! Like hi, I am me and I am choosing to be happy, to see the positive in everything, and love life! One book that has seriously helped me remedy some parts of my life is You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. This book… ITS AMAZZZINGGGGG! Jen has such an easy way with words. She points out something that majority of the population struggles with, then gives the quickest, easiest fix. Sometimes I wonder why we aren’t all that good with words, thoughts, life, etc. She is brilliant.

Essentially, this post is to remind all of y’all out there that there are too many things out of our control to get upset about. But one thing we can control is our perspective on life. Choose a positive outlook and choose to be happy. Making that conscious choice everyday will radiate. People are attracted to happy, positive people. Be that person!

Toxicity: people & places

Toxic people. Who else just thought of a certain someone in your life? Positive vibes have been such a trend lately, well this started like 2-3 years ago maybe. Its totally something important to discuss though, right? I mean who doesn’t live with some type of negativity in their life.

I am a true believer in vibes. My freshman year of college I found out how sensitive I am to my environment and who I surround myself with. Not that Denison (where I transferred from) was a bad place, it wasn’t! But the vibes weren’t right for me. It sounds like a whole bunch of bull, but when it comes down to it I wasn’t happy and wasn’t surrounded by the places or people I wanted to invest my time in. I picked up and moved on, now happier than ever.

People:

Toxic people are such a bummer! I wish we could look these people in the eye and say “dude, fix yourself.” Its normally not that simple for people to fix, for others it can be an adjustment on perspective. Not everyone that is considered a toxic person in your life has to be negative. It might just be that you two don’t click, maybe you clash more than you click. As you’re reading this, I bet you’re thinking of a few people you have in your friend circle that just don’t flow with you. You know, those people that make you feel down and out or stress you out or you feel like you’re constantly arguing with. Get rid of them! Sounds much easier than it really is. Thats where Lauryn Evarts comes in…

Anyone here read The Skinny Confidential Blog? I am so beyond obsessed, listen to her podcasts every day she puts a new one out, religiously stalk her app, and obsess over her and Michaels relationship. Back to toxic people… a few weeks ago, Lauryn wrote an amazing post on negativity. She tells readers how she did a people inventory. Basically, she wrote down who she wanted in her life and who wasn’t bringing in good vibes, then slowly cut ties with the latter. Maybe thats extreme? Maybe not? If you’re really struggling with putting the right people in your life, I always say “its better to be alone than in bad company”.

Places:

UGH this one is so challenging because there are so many little parts to our surroundings that make it hard to pinpoint. Each environment will have a feeling that you can just sense. When I walk onto Elon’s campus, I just feel happiness. Everyone is happy, beautiful, and no joke, it feels like everyone loves it there. Have you ever walked into a place, maybe a party or something, and just feel so off?  Lets be real, that happens more than we think! Even when I go out to dinner, sometimes the vibes are just not right for what I imagine the night being *cue your girls to turn around and leave*.

Your environment is so personal. I love the idea that we all can create our perfect place in our homes. Even in college apartments we all have some special method or way to decorating that makes us feel comfortable. The best advice I can give when it comes to our environment is to listen to your gut. Don’t follow what other people are doing if you aren’t comfortable with it. Frat party or bar? Ski slope or beach? Everyone likes different things and we should surround ourselves with what makes us happy.

Each of us have different triggers in our environment. Recognizing what works for you is a key to success. You will do better in a place where you are surrounded with things you love and people that make you happy.

Cleansing is not for the faint hearted

Three weeks ago I got home from college anxious to lose the weight and bloat that comes with the college lifestyle. I wouldn’t consider myself a party girl at heart, but that dining hall food can really get to ya. Coming home was exciting. My dad, who is about 80% plant-based, was sure to have a great selection of… you guessed it… vegan, locally sourced foods. After explaining to him my interest in being a bit more healthy, and losing weight, he suggested we both go on a juice cleanse.

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My seven hour drive home from college was my time to really figure out how to buckle down this summer. I was dead set on getting a personal trainer to keep me focused at the gym. So, my dad suggesting this whole juice cleanse thing… didn’t really feel like it was for me. We decided to do the 3-day cleanse from Restore Cold Pressed (just happens to be that I work there). For three whole days I ate nothing and drank straight liquid… sounds awful right? BUT IT WASN’T

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Day One: woke up… hungry per usual. Drank a green juice with no fruit in it. Felt super full. By noon I was dying to eat solid food. Something about that crunchy, chewy-ness in my mouth, I wanted it so badly! Had another juice instead. I was three deep, three to go. Finishing the fourth juice is where I started to get hANGRY. All I wanted and all I needed was real food. I felt unsatisfied and quite honestly, the cleanse didn’t feel worth it anymore. I started gagging chugging down another green juice. My headached, my stomach rumbled, and I was miserable. This is when we are supposed to preserve though, right? So I stuck it out, absolutely in shambles. Day one ended with an almond milk, maple syrup, and date juice. I wanted to cry. Nothing has ever tasted so good.

Day Two & Three: I hate to bunch these two days together, but they were so much easier than I imagined. I kept super busy: did my nails, cleaned the house, prepared for work, read. Anything to keep my mind off of the craziness of this cleanse. So start with a green juice, move to a detox beet juice, then a lemon cayenne juice, followed by a green juice with some fruit, another lemon cayenne with apple this time, and end with a delicious almond milk juice that is sweet as can be and so so filling. By this time, I was used to feeling a bit weaker and I knew that I shouldn’t/couldn’t workout. My friends helped me stay busy (shoutout Halle & Margo).

By the end of day three, I felt so accomplished. I had finished the cleanse. Unfortunately, this is where I ‘cheated’. After feeling so accomplished, I went to Aladins, a mediterranean restaurant in my town, and got a kale salad with quinoa. I know I shouldn’t have… but people, I hadn’t eaten anything for three days!

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The cheat meal

The end result of this cleanse was about 5 pounds lost, a stronger mental will, and a complete reset of my eating habits. No joke, bye bye sugar cravings. Like literally don’t have them ever anymore. I am eating 80% plant-based. I save social situations for my splurges, and I feel better than ever. I would never recommend a cleanse to someone trying to lose weight. If that is your mentality, you will not last or it will be terrible. A juice cleanse should be used as healthy lifestyle reset button. Let it spark your interest in healthy food and a healthy lifestyle. It has changed my entire outlook on food. Food is not a hobby, its fuel. What you put in your body is going to change how you feel, so fuel it right.

Holidaze

The holiday season is my absolute favorite. I love that feeling while walking around campus or downtown Hudson, my home town. People are so cheery, all bundled up and ready to go home to a fire. It’s so weird, but when I see people all bundled up and walking around in the cold I just imagine them thinking “oh my god I can’t wait to go home and make a cup of coffee and watch a holiday movie!” Am I the only one that thinks that or…?

I have been down here in Florida with my mom since the semester ended. There might not be white snow… but there is white sand. So, for now, I’ll settle. Here are a few pictures of the holidays down in Florida:

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We kinda like the holidays
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Golf cart parade
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Santas Sleigh- golf cart edition
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Toys for Tots

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Last year, I spent my thanksgiving break with my boyfriends family. It was my first holiday without my parents being in the same town, so I was really split between where I wanted to be. Ben, my boyfriend, has such a generous family. I mean these people would open up their house to anyone that needed a helping hand. So, naturally, they invited me to stay for break, and I decided to do it.

The week was so fun! They have so many fun traditions that their family does… monkey bread Thanksgiving morning, game night, and girls shopping day are just a few. I learned so much about his family and bonded so well with them… the only thing missing was my family.

This year, we will al be in Florida for Christmas. My mom and sister live here, and my dad is flying down. I have been here for a week now and let me tell you… Christmas is different down here. The palm trees are decorated with lights instead of an evergreen. The sand is white, but not as white as snow.

The people are different too… not many people my age. And by that I mean the average age is probably over 70 years old. I love the elders, so its fun! I’ll just leave it at that.

As different as it is down here, it is beginning to feel more like home. Maybe becoming more familiar with the place is helping, but it seems that the holidays can feel like home wherever you go as long as you’re with the right people. This year  I will be with all of the right people, and for that I am thankful.

 

Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by “Major Shaming”

We all know the “easy” majors: communications, art design, media, journalism, the list goes on. Their ciriculum seems project based. They don’t  have frequent all-nighters in the library. Instead, those majors seem fun, easy, creative, and maybe even… important!?!

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Hellooo people! Open your eyes! The people who pursue their passion and graduate with a degree in Journalism are the ones who keep you informed on the worldly news and create those overly entertaining BuzzFeed posts. The people who major in theater and acting, they are the ones you plan a whole night to see perform on Broadway. With all of the opportunities we have at college, there are so many different facets of careers that it makes major shaming kind of ignorant.

As a young women in the Sport and Event Management program, I get a lot of backlash on what I want to pursue. I have heard the whole “oh, you want to be that girl that interviews the players after a game, do you even need a degree for that?” or “what do you plan on using that for?” Well, I can tell you one thing… people like me don’t have billions of dollars in student loans to not have a plan for the future!

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When tuition bills come out..

My major is important to me because I have a passion for it, just like you have for your major. There are two things in this world that bring people together… dogs and sport. Since I can’t be a dog, I decided to study sport. I think I can make a difference in the way people relate to each other and I can do that through sport. Each of us have our very own reason we chose what we did. Respect that people! Its not easy for any of us to spend hours studying, so cut us a break!

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Victims of “major shaming”, be proud that you are pursuing what you love. In the end, you will be happier doing something you love every single day rather than doing something for the money or the fame.

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Cheers to us people pursuing what we love.

22 Reasons Being Committed in Your 20’s Totally Rocks

Lately, it seems like social media glorifies the single life. We idolize Amy Schumer for her funny, single life. Same with Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, even Sheryl Crow. Elite Daily posts how being single makes you more cultured and that being single makes you better than the rest of us. They even have a subtopic called “Love Hurts” with a huge heading of “Love Is A Mother F*cker”. I’m not trying to blame Elite Daily for this trend. The Huffington Post, The Odyssey, among tons of other sites are posting about this. And its not just about being single, its about being single in college and being single in your 20’s.

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Maybe I’m a little sensitive, but I feel like these are always aimed at me. I have friends that think my college relationship is bogus, that we met at the wrong time, that we won’t last. Then I have friends that absolutely adore my boyfriend and will stand by my side through it all. The ones on the latter side of that are the ones with more open minds and bigger hearts. They understand that it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but support me for trying to make it just that.

My point of this post is that if you and your significant other have your own plans to grow, explore, keep an open mind, and listen to each other then you will have everything these single posts talk about PLUS MORE. It is complete B.S. to make the assumption that people in relationships are held back. If anything, us boyfriends/girlfriends learn the most by sharing our lives with someone. We are challenged all the time to understand, listen, and experience new things that our other half enjoys. Relationships are growing experiences.

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So, for all of you doubters out there, heres a few reasons why you shouldn’t be afraid of the committed life in college.

  1. You will grow in ways you never thought
  2. Sharing your experiences with someone else gives you a new perspective on life
  3. You meet amazing people (aka your bf/gfs friends)
  4. You will always have a partner in crime
  5. You never have to worry about doing that whole “staying-in-by-myself-binge-watching-netflix” thing alone
  6. But if you do want to do all of that alone, you totally can!
  7. You will always have a travel buddy
  8. Someone will always be there to push you to be your best
  9. You get to buy someone gifts and make them feel loved
  10. The holidays are more fun with someone by your side
  11. You’ll probably have a funny story about how you met that you and your friends laugh over
  12. Your girlfriends will love you for hooking them up with one of his guy friends (and vis-versa)
  13. You have someone to take care of you when you’re sick
  14. Your maturity level will sky rocket
  15. You don’t have to worry about the pressures from the”hook-up culture”
  16. When you’re homesick, you have someone that can make you feel at home
  17. Always have a study buddy
  18. Your parents get another child (parents love this shit)
  19. CONCERT BUDDY (TG!)
  20. Someone you can always make fun of without worrying about hurting their feelings too badly
  21. You get to share your happiness with someone
  22. Someone will always be there to support you

Some of my favorite times with bf Ben-

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Tragedy Strikes

On Wednesday afternoon, Elon’s campus was blanketed with sorrow and mourning as word spread that classmate and football player Demitri Allison had passed away. With heavy hearts, the Elon community quickly organized a candle light vigil and a “Gathering of Friends” at Rhodes Stadium. Although I did not have a personal connection with Demitri, it was obvious that he had touched many lives here on campus.

With a family of football players mourning his death, the candle light vigil was emotional and moving. Students gathered around his closest friends in silence. They soon began to speak about the story behind his passing and what Demitri was going through. I distinctly remember one of his teammates stepping up and talking to us about the Elon community. I remember him saying “every f*cking life matters”, black, white, whatever your race, religion, or orientation, you all matter. He said it so passionately, my friends and I were just awestruck. He went on about how this tragedy needs to fuel us to come together as a community and make this school even better. Lend a helping hand. Pass a smile on to someone passing. Reach out to a friend who could be struggling. To whoever that kid was, I hope you read this and realize that you moved a lot of people that night.

Every life matters. I commend the women that start the Black Lives Matter movement, but we can’t forget about every other life. We all matter. Black, white, rich, poor, any race, religion, orientation, size, shape… whatever you may be. You mean something to someone somewhere.

Depression is complex. According to the Harvard Health Publications, depression is not only chemical imbalance but can be brought on by many different elements. Depression cannot be boiled down to one simple cause. It’s awful that we have boiled depression down to something people just live with when in reality it drives peoples days and impacts each and every one of us.

It’s so easy to feel passionate after a tragic event. Emotional ties to tragedy can make people feel some type of way. What defines our community is not what we do in times of tragedy, but how we continue to act months after. 

Rest in peace Demitri Allison.